The wedding ceremony is an emotional time for the bride and groom. It’s a time to declare your love and union in front of friends and family, and a chance to create that “perfect day” that both of you will remember forever.
But, friends and family can get caught up in the occasion too. And sometimes, that enthusiasm can almost ruin what is supposed to be a special day.
The next wedding you attend, please don’t do this!
1. Don’t get in the way of the professional photographer
Yes, we understand that your new phone comes with an awesome camera. But, you are not being paid to take wedding photos. Just leave it to the professional photographer hired for the job. Your only job is to be with the newlyweds, in front of the camera. Not behind it!
Thankfully, pros like Andy Lim know how to incorporate your shenanigans into their shots. Like in the example below:
Why not go “camera-free” for your wedding?
Even though the shot above turned out well, you can’t have an entire wedding album full of shots like this. That’s why, in a recent Facebook post, Thomas Stewart Photography wrote an epic rant about how mobile phones are ruining weddings.
If you can’t see the post above, this is what he said:
“Right, I’ve had enough. I want to talk to you all about guests using mobile phones / cameras at weddings. I want to plead with you, and I’m going to make this very simple: brides and grooms, please have a completely unplugged wedding ceremony.
Look at this photo. This groom had to lean out past the aisle just to see his bride approaching. Why? Because guests with their phones were in the aisle and in his way.
This sucks. And i’m not blaming these guests in particular; I actually take a large amount of responsibility for this occurring. In the past I should have been more specific with my clients in explaining to them why guests should be told no photos. Well, from now on, I’m going to make a pretty big deal about it.
If you’re planning a wedding, please consider these points:
1. Guests with phones, iPads and cameras get right in your photographer’s way. They have no idea how to stay out of our way. They often ruin many of our shots. They will make our photos worse. You’re paying a photographer quite a bit of money; that means you want great photos. We cannot do our best work with people getting in our way.
2. These same guests will get in YOUR way. You will miss moments of your own wedding day because there’ll be an iPad in the way. You will miss seeing your partner’s face in the aisle.
3. The guests’ photos are usually crap. I’m sorry, but it is true. You can’t take great photos with your camera phone by leaning into the aisle of a dark church to photograph a moving subject. Hell, even lots of professionals have trouble with this.
Local photographer Joe Kit said pretty much the same thing in this article from Vulcan Post:
“Last week, I was shooting a wedding and OMG, I almost missed the ring moment, the bride crying, the registration signing and the mom crying—all because the iPhones were blocking me everywhere!
I totally lost it. I just went over and went full-on shoulder tapping. ‘Excuse me, I need to shoot this ONCE IN A LIFETIME MOMENT’, like a whisper kind of rage. The bride and groom can’t hear me but that person sure can.
I mean, okay, technology is great, everyone can be a photographer; I admit to using my iPhone in place of my work cameras sometimes. But your BFF here hired me, for an obscene amount of money, for a reason, okay? Don’t get in the way of my job and ruin every photo by blocking it or by standing in the background with your iPhone and half hung glasses, ruining what might have been a super awesome shot.”
2. Don’t get the groom drunk by the second dinner course
So, the newlyweds are your long time clubbing crew? Maybe you should save that part of the celebration for later. I have seen Chinese wedding dinners where the groom can barely stand up because his friends made him drink so much, and it’s only the second course.
Leave the drinking games for the after party. Scenes like this might seem like crazy fun, but your other guests may not appreciate you putting the couple out of commission for the rest of the evening.
3. Don’t Hog All the Couple’s Time
Unless you’re the best man or bridesmaid, don’t expect to have the full attention of the bride and groom on their big day. They have lots of relatives and friends to attend to besides yourself.
For example, during a Malay wedding kenduri, the couple may not even be there the whole time. During a Chinese 8-course wedding dinner, they will need to visit each table, so don’t make them play wedding games during your extended half-time show. The food is getting cold, you know?
4. Don’t Dress Inappropriately
If you’re attending the solemnisation ceremony, especially at a Malay or Indian wedding, it might not be the best time to bust out that cleavage-revealing dress you were keeping in the closet for special occasions.
And, unless the invite says “casual beach wear”, don’t attend wearing a t-shirt and khakis.
Other things you shouldn’t wear to a wedding:
- A tiara
- Ripped jeans
You get the idea.
5. Don’t Be Late for the Wedding Ceremony
Did you say “traffic jam”? Then how come everybody else is here on time?
We get it, traffic in KL can be awful, especially on a weekend evening. But it just means that you need to plan ahead and start early. If the invite says 730pm, maybe that’s when you should be there. None of that “Malaysian timing” excuse.
Maybe the Malay wedding ceremony has the right idea when it comes to timing, since you are not expected to stay for the entire duration of the reception. Just come within the stated time, congratulate the couple and their parents, find a spot, and tuck in 🙂